Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Īffairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships-what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage-with the same person. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed.
What are we to make of this time-honored taboo-universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat-even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.įor the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood.
Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read.Īn affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.ĭetermined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom.
Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different?
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